Be Careful What You Wish For

Some wishes are pretty straightforward.

I wish I could find a little black dress to wear to that party next month. 

I wish Mississippi State could win every football game by 17 points this year. (Stop laughing.  I can wish for it.  In fact, I know some people who pray for it. Seriously.  Okay, y’all! Stop laughing.)

Some things you can wish for and just forget about them.  They’re safe.  But then there are things we sometimes wish for that come with hidden drawbacks.  Which is why you should always be careful what you wish for.  

Believe me.  I know of what I blog.

About 10 years ago I started wishing for the Boob Fairy to visit.  I learned about the Boob Fairy from a fellow teacher, Maria, who swore that she had absolutely nothing in the boob department until well past her high school years.  But she said that she faithfully prayed that the Boob Fairy would someday visit. And one day she woke up to find that, Poof!, the Boob Fairy had visited during the night and been more than kind. Keep in mind that Maria was telling this to a bunch of us on a Friday afternoon at Chili’s where we may or may not have been consuming frozen margaritas.  (And if we were consuming said margaritas, kindly remember that we were public school teachers and we deserved every drop, thank-you-very-much.)

I had always hoped that there was a Boob Fairy because, you see, I needed a Boob Fairy or a Fairy Boobmother or some Magical Bestower of the Boobs.  Throughout high school and college,  I couldn’t grow decent boobs to save my life.  Going shopping for bras didn’t take long.  I always got the ones with underwire and a little padding and some pushing up.  You know.  The total FAKE-OUT bra.

I was talking with a friend (‘State girls, I’ll tell you who and you’ll holler!) in college one time and we were laughing about it.  And I swear I’ve never known anyone who had, er, less boobage than this girl. I promise you, I am not talking behind her back or saying anything ugly because if she were sitting next to me she’d nod her head and say, “Yep, she’s just telling the truth.”  I said something like, “Maybe we’ll finally have boobs once we have kids.”  And she said, “Yeah, but do you know what I heard?  I heard that sometimes your boobs actually shrink after you have babies.  And if that happens to me, mine will be inverted.”  So then we laughed until we fell down. Yes, we actually fell down on the floor.  Of the short hall.  Of the sorority house.  And laughed until we cried.  

Okay, so back to being careful about what you wish for and all that. Even though my weight fluctuated throughout college but returned to normal within about 2 months after graduation, there was no change in the boobs.  And when Tater Daddy and I got engaged and my weight dropped drastically, because I was fittin’ into that dress, my boobs stayed the same.  Once we were married and I returned to a normal weight, the boobs stayed the same.  

For about 10 years after that, the same thing went on and on.  I’d gain a little weight and lose a little weight and never see any change.  

All the while, though, I wished for the Boob Fairy to come and sprinkle her magic boob dust over me so that I might know what it’s like to have the boobies of an adult and not a girl in junior high.

And do you know what?  About five years ago, the Boob Fairy showed up.  I had boobs.  Tater Mama needed new and bigger bras.  Yeehaw!

But wait just a dadgum a minute!  It appears that the Boob Fairy brought some friends with her. And they were NOT on the prayer list.  That diva also brought the Hip Fairy, the Thigh Fairy, the Big Behind Fairy, and the Poochy Tummy Fairy.  

What?  Did they get a group rate on their way to Elvis Week or something?

So friends, be careful what you wish for…because you just might get it AND more. Which isn’t always better.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lora Lynn
    Aug 30, 2008 @ 13:21:20

    hee,

    Reply

  2. Ginny
    Sep 02, 2008 @ 12:39:09

    Girl, you ain’t RIGHT!!! (And that’s why I love you; I’m not “RIGHT” either!!)
    I enjoyed our lunch the other day; we got to do it again!!!

    Reply

  3. Tater Mama
    Sep 02, 2008 @ 21:33:24

    Of course I’m not RIGHT! You’ve met my people! 🙂

    I agree about the lunch thing. Let’s see if we can find a place next time where the wait staff is not so enthusiastic, though. I could hardly get a word in edgewise with all that SUPER service! NOT! 🙂

    Reply

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