I’m Always the Last To Know

You know how some people are just naturally in the loop?  They have some sort of built-in radar, and they just know about stuff, whether it’s the latest gossip news around town, the latest fashion trends, or how to get permanent marker out of an Oriental rug.  Some people have the gift, and others don’t.

Hello.  My name is Other.

I am perpetually out of the loop, and if by some chance someone is kind enough to let me stick my head into the loop, that’s about as far as I go.  For example, it took me two seasons before I bought capri pants.  I just wasn’t sure about them.  Now I live in them and hope they never go out, which means they probably went out several months ago and here I am wearing the heck out of them.  I suppose I’m just not an “inlooper.” 

When Tater Tot discovered that drawing on walls was A LOT MORE FUN than drawing on paper, it was no big deal.  I googled “getting crayon off walls” and found that WD-40 lifts the stuff right off without hurting the paint.  Thank you, Google, for being in the loop.

However, one day while under his Daddy’s watchful eye, ahem….cough….aack, the dear boy confiscated a pencil and went to work with a heavy hand.  I tried several things, including the most obvious — erasing, but I got nuthin’.  The pencil marks were still visible.  (And there’s a wall that’ll need to be repainted due to some heavy erasing, but let’s not dwell on it…..)

One of my sisters-in-law happens to be a clean freak.  If she has spare time, she cleans.  No, she scrubs.  And disinfects.  Her house is always ready for company. Seriously, if she, her husband and all three kids had the flu, the house would still be spotless.  I’m impressed…and a little creeped out by it.  I’ve tried to tell her about all the good naps she’s missed out on, but that girl just picks up a bucket and some Pine-Sol and runs the other way.

Her cleaning compulsion did work in my favor, though, because I was telling her about my pencil-on-the-wall problem, and she told me about this great cleaning product that gets everything clean and doesn’t hurt walls or floors or five-year-olds  Okay, I added the last part.  I’m sure she’s hardly ever never used it on her kids…even though they ARE always squeaky clean. 

(And by the way, I am not talking smack about my sister in law. I love her to death and wish I had more of her love of all things Pine-Sol.  She’ super-organized and can clean a house in the same amount of time that it takes me to haul the vacuum cleaner out of the closet.)

The product is called Greased Lightning, and let me tell you something, honey, this stuff is magic! (I included a link for no other reason than I’ve learned how. Score one for Tater Mama and the never-ending quest to keep up with technology.)  It gets pencil marks off walls like nobody’s business.  And if you have a home with an old bathroom, the kind with white tiled floors where the dirty grout always shows, this stuff will make your floor look like it’s brand new. I even got a little excited about cleaning the bathroom floors once I saw what this stuff can do.

It turns out that this stuff has been on the market for, like, FOREVER.  Which is why I am probably the last person to know about it.

Another thing on the list is my “new” favorite magazine, Real Simple.  For some obscure reason, it has started coming to my mailbox every month.  Perhaps Tater Daddy subscribed to a bunch of magazines and forgot to tell me, but I could not care less about the reason for its arrival.  Because I LOVE IT!  It comes in all kinds of editions, so you can choose which suits your fancy.  I lurve them all.

Now, when it first started arriving, I believed with all my heart that I was onto something new.  Finally, I was in the loop with the newest, greatest magazine being printed.  I couldn’t wait to tell my friends about this wonderful new read; the one with witty columnists and great tips that I can actually use; the one that has replaced Southern Living as the magazine whose issues get saved; the magazine whose pages are dog-eared andtagged with stickies.

See?

Alas…the publication is not new.  I don’t know how long it’s been around, but in a recent issue, the editor wrote something in her column about a feature that had been around since 2002.  Who knew?  Oh, wait….everyone but ME.

Why?  Why did I let myself think that I was about to be the giver of good news to the masses?  Evidently I am the last person on the planet to be reading Real Simple and enjoying the recipes and interesting articles, just as I must be the last person to know about Greased Lightning.  (Oh, and I still don’t know where my blogroll is, so I’m sure it’s another one of the things that everyone else found first thing this morning.)

I’d name some other things, but unfortunately I don’t know about them yet.

Feel free to clue me in.

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lora Lynn
    Oct 04, 2008 @ 13:28:46

    Well, you obviously found the internet, so you’re not that far behind…

    By the way, fall fashion this year includes jewel tones, so make sure your capris are plum and teal colored.

    Reply

  2. Melanie
    Oct 04, 2008 @ 13:30:30

    May it please you to know that you are not the last person to know of all these things – I am. I’ll have to look for this magazine. I also had never heard of greased lightening – unless you’re talking about the song from Grease – that, I know almost all the words to. I am sadly domestically challenged.

    Now, I can pass along one of my favorite products and that is Magic Eraser by, I think, Mr. Clean. I does wonders and will definitely get pencil off walls. Love it.

    Melanie

    Reply

  3. thefarmerfiles
    Oct 04, 2008 @ 18:45:31

    I have been dying for a subscription to Real Simple, but I CAN’T until we MOVE. Sigh.

    Reply

  4. Ginny
    Oct 04, 2008 @ 21:31:27

    Do you know that Real Simple will have a tv series (TLC? I’m not sure what channel), and it debuts in a week or two…I’m not usually in the loop, but I did catch the advertisement! I LURVE that magazine, too!!!

    Reply

  5. Tater Mama
    Oct 05, 2008 @ 01:49:04

    Oh yes! I am all about the tv show, sistuh! It premieres on the 17th, and would you believe that I wrote it on my calendar? Mmmmm…..yummy! 🙂

    Reply

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