A Possible Conspiracy? I’m Beginning to Wonder…

If I could hug the internet right now, I would wrap my arms around it and embrace it like a long, lost friend.  Oh, internet.  Absence does make the heart grow fonder.

I don’t know what happened, but sometime around 10:00 Wednesday night I shut my computer down while I drank a diet coke and ate some Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups folded one last load of clothes.  About an hour later I decided that I’d play one or fifteen more rounds of Word Twist (newest FaceBook addiction), but when I opened my little laptop I discovered that the internet was teasing me.  Perhaps it was even mocking me.  The technology does that every now and then.

My homepage is set to USA Today.  It makes me feel like I’m keeping up with the happenings of the world.  The real reason is that USA Today has great crossword and sudoku puzzles.  When Tater Tot was a baby and sleeping practically all the time, I spent a lot of time working those puzzles.  In between cooking fabulous meals and scrubbing the house to perfection.

BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Oh, I crack myself up.  Just the image of such a thing happening makes me snort with laughter.

Well, any-ol-hoo, when I opened my browser (just look how I’m using technical terms and everything) to continue my games, USA Today would pop up.  But clicking on any links from that page or my bookmark bar yielded nothing.  The web address would pop up, but I could never get to the sites I wanted to visit.  It was almost as if my internet got lost or distracted along the way.  Since the same thing happens to me almost daily, I couldn’t get too mad at my internet connection (or lack thereof).

I tried shutting down completely and rebooting, but the internet still didn’t come when I called it.  I started to shake a little and I almost hyperventilated at the thought of not knowing the status of all my FaceBook friends, but I took two Tylenol PMs and ate another Reese’s to make myself feel better.  Then I prayed over my laptop and asked a special blessing for my internet connection and went to sleep.

Thursday morning?  Same thing as the night before.  I had to face the facts.  There would be no reading my favorite blogs that morning.  And there would be no posting on Tater Tales.  Hmmm… Was the internet trying to send me a message to stop blogging?  Could be.  Had my husband sabotaged my internet connection so as to force me to STOP PLAYING WORD CHALLENGE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY and please conquer the mountain of dirty clothes our family of three has managed to build?  Quite possibly.

Not being able to get online Thursday wasn’t such a crisis.  Yesterday would’ve been my father’s 70th birthday, and I probably would’ve written something about him that would only make me sadder than I already was.  Plus, Tater Tot and I were planning to spend the day with my mother, so I wouldn’t have been home anyway.  

Before we left, something strange occurred.  I managed to clean the kitchen, unload and reload the dishwasher, change the sheets, and straighten up the house.  Huh….very interesting.

After Tater Tot and I came home from a lovely day with Mama, I checked my computer.  No connection.  While he played with his trains and trucks, I vacuumed the whole house, started supper, and started on Mount Laundry.  Oh. My. Word.  I was starting to see a pattern developing.  And I was afraid.

Tater Daddy came home from work and after supper I told him about my computer woes and begged him to take a look because IT’S JUST THE STRANGEST THING AND I’VE TRIED EVERYTHING I KNOW TO DO AND I JUST KNOW YOU CAN FIX IT, HONEY!

He picked it up, clicked on the Safari icon and sat there for a few minutes.  I grew more and more anxious as I feared that my laptop was on the blink.  “Well, what do you think is wrong?”

He said, “I don’t know what happened, but I’ve been opening links all over the place and Pat Summit is about to win her 1,000th game.”  He’d been sitting there reading about it on the UT Lady Vols sports page while watching the game on TV.

He handed me my computer and we watched the Lady Vols win their 1,000th game.  Then Tater Daddy said, “The house sure does look nice, by the way,” which only fueled my conspiracy theory.

And right now, as I’m writing this there is still a mound of laundry to do and the bathrooms need cleaning.  I’ve been trying to save this post with all my might, but when I click “Save Draft,” I get a message saying that I am not connected to the internet.

What do y’all think? 

Edited to add:  I started this post around 10:30 this morning.  It is now 5:30 in the afternoon and things seem to be working.  Very confusing….


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Heather
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 20:17:11

    Do you all have Verizon for your internet connection by any chance? Cause’ according to my hubby “they have leaky pipes.”

    Here’s the technical description:
    “Verizon has poor domain name service (DNS) functionality on their network. This periodically causes errors when your computer tries to connect to amazon.com, google.com etc. Without DNS working properly, the computer cannot figure out how to route packets to the website of interest, and it fails to ever connect: aka ‘the Internet is broken.’

    You might wonder what the solution is. The answer is complex. If you’re a happy-go-lucky do it yourselfer, you can go to OpenDNS.com and follow the instructions there on how to fix your DNS issues.” Phew, that was long!

    If that is too complex and confusing and you want the step by step how to just e-mail me and I’ll get my hubby to e-mail you the directions complete with snapshots of what to do! Being a computer techno geek he speaks computerese ;)!

    Hope that helps!
    Thanks so much for trying to help! We don’t have Verizon, but I’ve heard the same thing that your husband told you. I’m going to give my husband the tip, though. Maybe it’s the same with our network.


  2. Melanie
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 21:05:27

    Well, I’m glad you were able to post. I too regularly check for friends’ updates on Facebook – quite the addiction. Unfortunately, my computer seems to need some caffeine (It’s sooooo slow)! Of course, I no longer EVER put a drink anywhere near my laptop (ok, that’s a lie) ’cause I learned the hard way that computers do not LIKE liquid anything (I just try very hard not to knock it over anymore).

    By the way, I think you’ve inspired my next post though I doubt it will happen ’till at least tomorrow…If I don’t forget.


  3. pcb
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 21:15:57

    Isn’t it amazing how quickly internet withdrawal can set in? Nearly immediately. Plus, I’m not sure why it’s allowed to misbehave like that!


  4. Mrs Lemon
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 22:25:18

    I hate it when things conspire to allow me to clean the house unfettered by the interweb.


  5. Jamie
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 22:27:46

    Are you OK? ARE YOU OK? (Years ago Mr. Husband and I were both in a CPR class and that’s what the people in instructional video demonstrated that you’re supposed to yell at someone who is unconscious before you get on with the life saving. Thought it would work here.)

    That’s really scary, not having Internet connection. I hope it doesn’t happen again. But what I really wanted to say was that the next time you’re on Facebook, you ought to try Lexulous (formerly Scrabulous). If you like word games, it will ROCK YOUR WORLD. That’s all. 🙂


  6. Lora Lynn
    Feb 06, 2009 @ 22:54:31

    I definitely think you need to take an internet fast… So I can have a chance to redeem myself at Word Challenge. 🙂


  7. Quirky is a Compliment
    Feb 08, 2009 @ 20:45:07

    The important thing is that you are back now. And better you than me, because I don’t think I could stand not being connected for a whole day! You have the strength of 10 women, Tatermama.

    Hopefully you’ll never have to go through such a trying ordeal ever again!


  8. Kim H.
    Feb 09, 2009 @ 09:21:18

    If Tater Daddy had anything to do with it – I give him props for being the KING of passive aggresiveness! 🙂


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