That Was One Expensive Salad

Note:  I’ve been writing this post on and off for three days.  For those of you who have more than two children, I applaud you.  And if multiples are part of your mix, I am completely in awe of you.

Thursday afternoon I cooked a turkey breast.  The house smelled wonderful.  It was like Thanksgiving except for the fact that my mother was nowhere to be found bearing gifts of sweet potato casserole, corn pudding, asparagus casserole, and cranberry salad.  So, really, it wasn’t like Thanksgiving at all now that I think about it.

Huh.  My mind just rambles at will, doesn’t it?

Well, anyway, because I am such a creative chef, we had turkey sandwiches for supper that night.  I don’t know why I didn’t think of having people over so as to impress them with my culinary skills and finest paper plates.  (The dishwasher is on the blink again, and so help me, if the culprit is another mouse, I’m going to dress Duke up as a cat and teach him to meow.)

Since Tater Daddy, Tater Tot and I can only eat turkey sandwiches for so many nights, I decided that we would have a big salad, topped with turkey, for supper Friday night.  Because nary a salad-fixin’ was in the house (except for all that turkey bacon we have), the little Taters and I sweated our way to the grocery store early Friday afternoon.  We were lucky.  The thermometer in my car registered a cool 103 degrees at 2:00.

I had a very short list of things to get:

  • lettuce
  • Craisins
  • cucumber
  • tomatoes
  • sliced almonds
  • Raspberry vinaigrette dressing
  • Sister Schubert rolls (Amen and Amen.)

Under no circumstances was I going to deviate from my list.  Everyone knows that the fastest way to overspend is to deviate from the list.

The first thing I did was pick up two loaves of bread because as soon as I saw the bread aisle, I realized we were completely out.  It’s okay to stray from the list if you intended to put the item on the list in the first place, right?

After getting the Craisins, salad, and a cucumber, I saw the potatoes and picked up a few.  It dawned on me that I have some nice steaks in the freezer that we can defrost and grill this weekend.  Grilling is so much fun when it’s 384 degrees outside, isn’t it?  And honestly, is it really deviating from the list if the item is within arm’s reach of the last item you put in the cart that actually was on your list?  Talk amongst yourselves and let me know.

While choosing the raspberry vinaigrette, I remembered that we were out of Ranch dressing.  Tater Tot is wild about it, and even though he’s a pretty adventurous eater, I wasn’t sure the vinaigrette would be his thang, so the bottle of Ranch jumped in my cart and we darted off.  I can’t let the poor child starve simply because I forgot to put one item on my list, can I?

There’s no way to bypass the bakery, and Schnuck’s makes delicious cookies.  It’s long been the store’s policy that children get a free cookie, and Tater Tot chose a sugar cookie with sprinkles.  We picked out half-a-dozen more to bring home.  I feel way too guilty if I let him eat his complimentary cookie without buying a few.  The word SUCKER is stamped right across my forehead.  I know it and am comfortable with it.

As we made our way toward the “baking needs” aisle, we had to pass the chips.  Wouldn’t you know it?  We were all out of Tater Daddy’s favorite, and when he asks, “Where are all the Ruffles?” I didn’t want my response to be, “Did you see potato chips on the salad Friday night?  Chips weren’t on my list and I do NOT deviate from my list.”   That’s just asking for a night full of grumpy, so we wheeled down cholesterol avenue and threw a couple of bags in the cart for good measure.

Four aisles over there was a display that screamed TATER FAMILY all over it.  PopTarts — Box of 12 — 4 for $10.  That’s about 20-cents per tart, folks.  This purchase had to happen.  Tater Daddy inhales PopTarts, four at a time, every Saturday and Sunday morning.  It’s an 80-cent breakfast, I am not required to cook, and there are no dishes for me to clean.  It’s not a bad way to spend $10.  By the way, have you tried the Raspberry PopTarts?  They are all kinds of high-calorie, non-nutritional goodness.  Y-U-M!

On the way to the freezer section for Sister Schubert’s rolls, we passed the milk.  We always need milk, or at the very least, we’re within a couple of days of needing it, so in went a gallon of cow juice.

Right across from Saint Schubert’s rolls is where the ice cream aisle starts.  I’m not a big ice cream eater.  In fact, I rarely buy it.  It’s not that I don’t like ice cream, it’s just not on my list of top five desserts.  Every now and then I’ll stop at Dairy Queen on the way home from visiting my mother and get a Blizzard, but normally I don’t have any trouble passing up ice cream.

However.  A couple of days ago I was reading a blog where the author said something about eating Moose Tracks ice cream and it sorta stuck with me.  Would you believe that right across from Sister’s rolls, right there on the end of the ice cream aisle, was a big sign:  Schnuck’s Moose Tracks Ice Cream!  I’m not sure what came over me, but a small carton flung itself in my cart, and I can now tell you that it is delicious.  Oh, and so is the Schnucks White Thunder ice cream.  It has white chocolate cups in it with a dreamy strawberry swirl.  Not that I’m a big fan of ice cream or anything.

Our little trip to the grocery to get the items I needed “for Friday night’s supper” came to a grand total of around $70.  

And the salad?  It was okay.

(But the ice cream was superb.)


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kim
    Jun 29, 2009 @ 11:17:01

    Wow $70…I’m impressed. When I deviate from my list I don’t get out of the store for under $100.


  2. kim sue
    Jun 30, 2009 @ 06:47:04

    given you have something to eat on that bread, and you remember to take the steaks out of the freezer…you have the makings of 3 dinners, multiple breakfasts, and dessert for $70…that’s not bad.


  3. JLI
    Jun 30, 2009 @ 10:33:21

    Hysterical! It’s like shopping with my grandma all over again…not that you’re a grandma, being that you’re a mommy of two younguns…ah shoot. You get the point! Anywho, yea, grandma would say “Let’s go to the store, we need to get blah, blah, blah…for dinner” and we’d end up leaving with a cart full of groceries and it’d take 3 trips to get everything in the house! I didn’t realize she was talking about dinner for the next 3 weeks!


  4. Kerstin
    Jun 30, 2009 @ 12:41:36

    You are seriously one of the funniest people I know! Only you can re-create what happens to EVERY ONE OF US in such a hilarious way!


  5. Jenna
    Jul 01, 2009 @ 12:10:50

    Yep… that is all of my grocery store trips it seems… and Walmart trips…


  6. thefarmerfiles
    Jul 02, 2009 @ 13:34:29

    LOL I have not blogged about my MISadventures of narrowly avoiding gestational diabetes and YES I had to take the 3 hr test and have my blood drawn 4x in 3 hrs…and what got me like that…MOOSE TRACKS. So I went on a cleanse between the 1 hr glucose test and the 3 hr glucose test to avoid a GD diagnosis. Once my test was over I sat down with my moose tracks again. Ignorance was bliss. I had no idea if I had passed. AND THEN, when I found out I did pass, I had me some more moose tracks. And prior to the tests, I had gained 6 lbs in ea of the last 3 months. But since YESTERDAY was the third office visit in a row I had not gained ANY weight since the cleanse, I sat down with some MORE MOOSE TRACKS. AMEN to Moose Tracks!


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