The Great Unwashed Go To Target

Small Fry and I dropped Tater Tot off at Parent’s Day Out yesterday morning, and since Small Fry wouldn’t need to eat again for about three hours, we made a spur-of-the-moment trip to Target.  That’s code for I wasn’t wearing any makeup, nor had I washed my hair in a day or three.

Small Fry was a real trooper and slept the whole time we were there except for a couple of times when he needed help getting the pacifier back in its pacifier place.  I found a swimsuit that I don’t mind being seen in by all the critters in our backyard, and I bought a pair of cute, cute Bermuda shorts and a top to wear this weekend.  I think I could’ve gotten a smaller size, BUT then I remembered all the food I’m going to be eating.  Why be uncomfortable?  And let’s not forget something that Truvy said about shoes that certainly can be modified and applied here.  “Well, in a good [short], I wear a size 6, but an 8 feels so good that I buy a 10.”  Anyway, along with a navy t-shirt, these are going to the 4th of July picnic Saturday.  (I know you’ve all been on the edge of you proverbial seats about my weekend wardrobe…)

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I’m just curious.  Have y’all tried the Maxi dress?  I tried a couple of them on, and I love the flowing, breezy feel of them.  But I’m just wondering how practical they are.  There’s no way I could wear one of those things and keep up with a 3-year-old and a baby without falling flat on my face at least six times in as many minutes.  When we were leaving the store, I saw a young girl walking through the parking lot in a strapless Maxi dress and the whole time she was pulling that sucker up.  In my opinion, the strapless Maxi dress is one big wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen.  

We wandered around the store for a little while longer.  It was so nice and cool in there, and it was not crowded at all.  On the way to the checkout lanes, I noticed a TV cameraman and one of the local personalities filming something, which isn’t all that unusual.  This Target is a favorite for the TV stations.  I turned into one of the aisles and kept browsing around when the TV-man tapped me on the shoulder, told me what he was doing and wondered if I’d mind speaking to him.

Y’all.  I was wearing cut-off blue jean shorts (Mama, I am so sorry!), a lime green t-shirt, and sandals.  Except for lipstick, I had nary a lick of makeup on, and I’ve already told you that my hair was in desperate need of a good washing.  I should have had a bag over my head.

I’ve long had the theory that reporters seek out the worst looking people in a crowd and interview them for their news segments.  Now I’m sure it’s true.  

I laughed and told him it was awfully kind of him to ask, but that if he waited long enough one of two things might happen:  (A) He might be able to find someone who looked even worse than I did, although I agreed it might seem hard to believe at that moment, or (B) he could ask one of the women walking around who managed to leave the house with makeup and a decent looking outfit.

You know.  Someone who’s not one of the great unwashed.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Diane
    Jul 02, 2009 @ 08:15:47

    Help me! I am so out of the loop! What is a “maxi dress”? You will be the cutest thing at the picnic in your new shorts. We shopped for your little men yesterday and will get a box in the mail soon. And when you open it, remember that my two little shoppers had input. 🙂 They wanted to buy pink as that is what every person in our house wears, but I didn’t let them. Hugs for a happy 4th!
    *************************************
    Oh, mercy! You are too sweet! I am so behind on thank-you notes and still haven’t sent one to your Mama for the cute outfit she sent! It’s written — no stamps!
    The maxi dress is like a “moomoo!” It’s a full-length sundress, so to speak. You’d look precious in one, but I’d break an ankle in a heartbeat. 🙂 Hug those girls for me! We may be heading to Dallas in August! If so, I’m renting a car and hitting the highway toward YOU!

    Reply

  2. JLI
    Jul 02, 2009 @ 08:52:16

    Diane, “maxi” = BIG. That’s basically it. Think Mrs. Roper, only lop off the sleeves, add a neck strap and maybe a cute print (unless you prefer looking like a giant raspberry or something). It goes all the way to the floor and like Tater Mama said, is a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen. Super cute on 20-somethings…on 30’s +, it looks like a too-obvious attempt to cover every flaw Mother Nature has bestowed upon our aging bodies. 🙂

    Reply

  3. thefarmerfiles
    Jul 02, 2009 @ 13:03:02

    See I am sick like that. I would have allowed the interview and apologized to all of my fans later for my disheveled look. LOL.

    Reply

  4. David
    Jul 02, 2009 @ 15:29:36

    Just for the record, I have not tried the maxi-dress.
    ***************************
    And may I just say, thank you, my friend!

    Reply

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