Thank You, 40

Well.

Turning the big 40 has thrown me for yet another loop or six.  I’m starting to lose count.

First there was the issue with needing to use reading glasses now and then, but I kind of expected that since my Dad started wearing them in his early 40s, and I take after him a lot.

Then I noticed that losing weight is NOT a simple walk in the park.  It’s now more like a dead run all around the park.  It’s no secret to anyone who knows me that I put on quite a bit of weight during the last school year.  What can I say?  I’m a stress eater, and last year’s class stressed me out more than I’ve ever been before.  I took comfort in my friends, Ben & Jerry.  Famous Amos was also there for me to lean on, not to mention more than a few Chick-Fil-A milkshakes and McDonald’s frappes.  They were there for me in my time of need.  The problem is that they’ve stuck around and changed their names to Pudgy and Poochy.  They’ve overstayed their welcome, and getting them to leave is more difficult and takes longer than I expected.

And what’s the deal with my face breaking out?  Actually, it’s tiny little pimples on my neck, especially right under my chin.  I didn’t like this when I was 15 and I don’t care to go through this again.

Speaking of the old neck, which is starting to sag and drag, last night I found a…oh I can barely say it…a stinkin’ hair long enough to pull back into my ponytail.  Okay, it wasn’t that long, but really?  A hair?  I. Could. Cry.

I have a feeling that lots of tears are in my future, because 40 isn’t over yet.

For my next birthday, I think I’ll ask for a lighted magnifying mirror and a good pair of tweezers, along with some acne medicine and a track suit.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. JLI
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 08:17:28

    I could cry, I’m laughing so hard!!! Your perspective on growing old is quite possibly the most precious but hysterical one I’ve ever seen/heard in my LIFE!

    Must go wipe tears and assure my co-workers I’m not just some crazy lady who sits at her cubicle rocking back and forth and laughing at nothing….

    Reply

  2. Kim H.
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 08:29:31

    I don’t mean to laugh at your trauma…but I am. I can only imagine the horror – and I don’t look forward to it. But at least you can go through it with a great sense of humor!!

    Reply

  3. Carrie
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 09:27:04

    Oh my – I could have written this exact same post. I am turning the big 4-OH next month and am not looking forward to it. And after having Josie last year, trust me – I am so with you on the weight thing. Seriously, I can relate to everything you wrote! SIGH!!!! And I keep thinking that when my mother turned 40 I was a freshman in college and here I am going to be 40 with a 1 and 6 year old!

    Reply

  4. Quirky is a Compliment
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 10:55:23

    It just doesn’t seem fair, does it? It’s like, what did I ever do to you, body? Still…you haven’t had to pull out the adult diapers yet, so that’s something.

    Reply

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